Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Always Gay?

Okay, I'm writing this here because I don't want to be obtrusive, but I do need to talk about it.

(Edit - It just occurred to me how funny it is that I would post this in my blog because this is where the least amount of people will see it)

I have recently come into contact with a friend from college, well, more of an acquaintance but somebody I really liked and thought well of, who is now a lesbian. (okay, let's not argue about the exigesis of lesbianism, ie. whether it has genetic causation. I'm not saying that she was or wasn't always a lesbian, I'm just saying that right now, if you were to ask her, she would say "I am a lesbian.")

I was really psyched when I found her on-line. Over the years she's someone that I've thought about from time to time and wished I had stayed in touch with. When we were in college (Geneva College) we shared some of the same "hobbies" that other students at Geneva wouldn't normally participate in. Okay, we liked to party and we both had an affinity for the Grateful Dead. We also were both Psychology majors, and we did at least one study/paper together. I've just always thought she was so intelligent and she made me laugh. Even now, I read through her blog and I am just cracking up.

Before I go on, let's get one thing clear. I am a liar and a thief. I have no inherent right to my salvation, it is only by the grace of God that I am saved. I judge nobody, at least not unrighteously. Well, I try not to anyway. I just want to throw that out there, because I am not dealing with emotions right now in writing this, only in what has been reported and what is written. Most importantly for this conversation, I am not judging her or the choice she has made. (Again, whether or not it was a choice is not the focus of this conversation, but I would certainly be willing to hear your opinion. Especially if you don't try to denigrate me as a person if my opinion is not the same as know, I'm not sure when I took on this whole peaceful diplomatic personality that's been developing recently, but I'm starting to make myself a little sick with all of it. Why can't I just tell people to stick it in their ear like I used to?)

Anyhoo....I've been praying for my friend, and I've been trying to just be a friend and nothing more. I have been praying that God would afford me the opportunity to talk with her about this as well, but we've only been back in touch for a short time and that hasn't, and may not happen. In short, I'm attempting to model my behavior after what I know of Jesus.

I also don't want to preach, and I don't think I have anything new to add to the conversations that may have already taken place in real life, or at least inside of her head concerning the Biblical stance on homosexuality.

I just want to tell her that I can't make it through my day without God leading the way. There are other things that she has written in her blog that I am empathetic to, things that have nothing to do with sex, but have to do with things like family, lonliness and having your heart broken. I just want her to know that I've been through so many of those circumstances, I've tried to shoulder the burden myself through situations just like those, but I have finally realized after last year that I can't do it. It was one of the hardest things I ever had to admit, but it freed me. I am not a weak man, not physically, not mentally and not spiritually, but I am woefully underequipped to handle all of the things that the world throws at us day after day after day after day.....

So, I don't want to preach, but I wouldn't mind informing. I did a little research today and I found out a few things.

The Bible speaks clearly about homosexuality and other sins:

Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.

Apparently the church in Corinth was filled with a bunch of men and women just like us.

Exodus International is a ministry for homosexuals. They report a genuine lifestyle change for up to 50% of the people they minister to, although what success means is ambiguous in this case.

There is also an interesting review of 31 different studies which was done by New Direction. I enjoyed reading some of this, but that's just because I'm still a psychology nerd at heart.

I hope it's you reading this. I hope you followed the link from that other place and made your way here and are beginning to realize that I am authentically concerned for you, and this has nothing to do with me wanting to control you or change you. It doesn't even have anything to do with the fact that while I was thinking of you from time to time over the years, I was thinking about you as a woman as well as a great person. I may be a romantic at heart, but you're a lesbian and I am also a realist. If you would be my friend and never change a thing about the person you are right now, I would consider myself the lucky one. I don't know why, but I have always felt that way about you. You're a fantastic person, and I think that's why you've got so many friends in so many places.

You are in my prayers.

1 comment:

Doug B said...

Well-written, brother. God is graceful, even when we are weak!