Thursday, November 23, 2006

Three

Three.

Half of six.

The magic number.

We used to listen to that song and smile. I remember the days, even if she has put them behind her. We liked the part where it said "Man and a woman had a little baby...."

And then we had a little baby.
And then he was gone.

And we were broken.


Pushing God.

Disobedient.
Disciplined.
Distraught.

Three.


The number of years since I took that trip to MA with the cat we were going to leave with friends there because we had rescued those two litters from our parking lot.

We couldn't possibly keep five cats...could we?

Three years since we talked on the phone and decided that we couldn't part with little Sable. So, three years since I took Sable on a road trip to MA and back.


Three.



The number of years since she left.



I didn't know she would leave me when I got back.
I didn't know she could look so happy, so maniacal as she was driving that dagger into my heart.


Liar.


I always knew.


Three years since I was left alone in the world. On my own for the first time. Nobody to enable me. Nobody to bail me out.




All me.





Three years later I am so thankful.

Not for the leaving.

For the loving.
For the faithfulness.
For the patience.
For the care.

From God.

Every step.
Every tear.
Every fall.

He was there.

He is love.

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