Baptized in the Jordan

This is a mass email I sent out today.

Hi,

I just got off the phone with my sister Sarah a little while ago. She was calling from Israel to tell me that she was baptized today in the Jordan River, and I wanted to share it with EVERYONE!! It was just a little more than 18 months ago I got down on my knees and prayed intently to God about Sarah. I had tried everything I could to try and have an impact on her life and nothing seemed to work. I told God how afraid I was for her future. I was sure she was headed for a life of misery. As far as I could see, her prospects included pregnancy, alcoholism, drug addiction or even death. I asked God what I should do, and I CLEARLY heard Him tell me to give her up to Him. It wasn't easy, but that was just what I did, and I am amazed...truly amazed...at the changes he has wrought in her life. He has repaid my faith so quickly, so fully, so abundantly....so perfectly...

I could tell you a ton of stories right now about the ways in which God has met this need, the amazing MIRACULOUS ways he has provided thousands of dollars...but instead, I'll just tell you this. Jesus Christ is my Savior, My Master and my King. I have never, ever even dreamed about being loved this perfectly. God has worked in my life, and continues to work in my life, with His perfect blessing and discipline to refine me and bring my life joy and peace. And now, Praise God, Sarah has allowed Him to work that way in her life as well.

There is no other way to live your life which will bring you anywhere near the fulfillment and happiness that living your life according to the Word of God will bring you. Nothing else will satisfy you the way that giving your life to God will satisfy you. It is what we are created for. Getting lost in what THIS life has to offer is folly. We spend a brief moment walking the face of the earth when compared to the eternity we will spend after this life, and the choices we make here will affect us for all eternity.

Jesus had this to say in Matthew 6:20 regarding trying to satisfy yourself with treasures on this earth versus the treasures to be found in Heaven:

Store your treasures in heaven, where moths and rust cannot destroy, and thieves do not break in and steal

My grandfather used to ascribe to the belief that "He who dies with the most toys, wins", but that isn't true. He who dies with the most toys just leaves the most toys behind.

So today, I am thankful to God for His infinite patience with me. I'm thankful to a mother who kept telling me all of these same things I just shared with you even when I didn't want to hear them. Her words and actions continue to pay dividends not just in my life and Sarah's life, but in so many other lives as well. I can only aspire to be the selfless, faithful and obedient servant that she was.

Today I am also thankful to my church, my family and my friends, and most especially to everyone at Hume Lake who has allowed God to work the miracles that they do. All of you have lifted us up in prayer or pitched in to make this hope we had for Sarah last year into a reality, and you sincerely have my eternal gratitude.

You have stored up treasures in Heaven, but I hope the thought of the change that Sarah has undergone in such a short time, the thought that she was baptized in the very same body of water that Jesus was baptized, is half the treasure to your heart that it is to mine. Because my heart is full today. Our God is a faithful God, a loving God, and a perfect God.

Our God is God, and He keeps His promises.

If you would like to see the pictures and blogs from Sarah's trip you can find them here: http://joshuawilderness.org/news/

If you've got an older teen that is struggling with life, that maybe you don't have any idea what to do with next, I would advise you to check out the other areas of the site as well to find out more about the Joshua Wilderness Institute.

Finally, I've attached a picture of Sarah sitting under a tree studying her Bible in Israel. Who would have thought...

I've prayed for each of you today.

Thanks for listening

Randy


--
I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. - John 15:15

Laptop for Sale

We have a tuition payment for my sister Sarah at the Joshua Wilderness Institute due on 2/15 and I'm trying to raise funds by selling a laptop on ebay. If you're in the market for a good laptop at a reasonable price, please click here.

It's been a struggle paying for her tuition since we originally had to come up with the initial down payment of $4500, but God has been faithful and we trust He will be now as well.

The change in my sister has been nothing short of miraculous, and we want for her to be able to graduate with the rest of her class. It was just last year that I was gravely concerned for Sarah's safety and well-being, but God has been faithful to His promise to me to save her, and I will praise His name forever for the changes He has wrought in her life. For more about her, and from her, click here to read her blog.

By the way, if you don't need a laptop but would like to donate something towards Sarah's tuition, contact me and I'll let you know how you can make a donation for her tuition directly to Joshua.

Email to Jesus

Father.

I don't know if this is your email or not. But I just wanted to take a moment to thank you for your grace and mercy in my life. Thank you for waiting for me so patiently, and for being faithful to me even when I failed at being faithful to you. Thank you for knowing me so well, and for molding me into the person that I am today. Please LORD, keep molding me.

Thank you Jesus, for giving up all that it is to be God and coming down here and taking the form of the most defenseless and helpless of forms. Everything is yours, and so you have the right to everything, but you gave it all up, just to come here and show me how much I am loved.

Lord, I still fail you. I still stray and allow sin in my life. I am incapable of living this life that I want with all of my heart to live. I want to live for You Jesus, to show you how much you mean to me, how much I appreciate You, how much I appreciate you and all of Your ways...how much I love You. Thank You for being patient. Thank You for Your forgiveness. Please give me the strength to be better. Please refine me and my ways. Please discipline me when I need it, and please turn Your loving face upon me even when I don't deserve it.

Jesus, I am writing today because I am so overwhelmed at the ways in which You have blessed me even though I don't deserve it. Specifically Lord, today, I want to thank You for all that You have done in Sarah's life. You have worked a miracle in her, and I can hardly stand to think about it without tears filling my eyes. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. Please Lord, continue to work in her, and grow her, and refine her. She is becoming such a blessing to me, and all that I went through Lord, You are redeeming. I didn't think this was possible Lord, but I am seeing in so many ways how anything at all is possible for You.

Thank You Father for being my Father, and please help me as I begin my own road as a father. Help me Lord, because I will surely need it. Help me to be the man of God I want to be. Help me to be Your faithful and true servant. Father, You know me even better than I know me. Help me to trust You. Father, craft for me a life which satisfies me and fulfills me. Make for me a way that allows me to share with others how much I love You. Lord, please let me serve You in ways which I haven't even imagined. This life has been an incredible ride so far, all of it, and I want You to keep refining me so that I trust You completely to lead me where You want me to go. I trust You Lord. I trust You with everything. Help me to be consistent about it.

You are beautiful. You are magnificent. You are everything I ever wanted, and every day you are more and more what I don't deserve. Thank You for blessing me anyway.

I can't wait to be with You forever.

Love

Randy

Today is the best day of my life!!

I wrote this blog back in February on my birthday:

and when I wrote it, I ended it by saying that this would be the best year of my life. I didn't know why I wrote that, and at first I felt a little presumptuous. Honestly though, I felt God making me a promise when I wrote it, so even though I felt a little uncomfortable making such a bold statement, I posted it anyway.

Well, in a little less than two hours from now I am getting married to "that girl from camp", and I can testify wholeheartedly that God followed through on His promise. I am the happiest I have ever been in my life.

This is the best year of my life...so far...and today is the best day of my life as well.

PRAISE GOD!!!!

Trust in Him

Life is....busy...

But here is something I wrote today which I thought worthy of posting.


Well, I'm going to say I told you so, but I don't mean it in a negative way. I've been telling you for years that you belong to Him, and He isn't going to let you live life by your own rules. You persisted in trying to do that anyway, as all of us stubborn people are prone to doing, and you struggled mightily. I praise God though, that now you are starting to see that the way you were was negative, and I praise Him more that you are beginning to turn over the control of your life to Him. He will not let you down.

Look at my verse at the bottom of this email, John 15:15-16. This is the verse I used last year when I spoke at that youth rally at Graham Road. Over the past year I have really come to understand it better too. You have to remember a couple things about God.

First, He isn't like us, and He doesn't see us from our limited perspective, He sees us from His all knowing perspective, and He loves us no matter what we do.

Second, the word friend in this verse is translated from a word which means "The closest friends of the King". Sarah, we come to Him broken and just happy to be in the Kingdom, but He picks us up, cleans our lives up and then wants to be as close to us as a friend could ever be.

The Bible also says: "Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and will dine with him, and he with Me" (Rev 3:20) That means that if we just open the door up and let Him come in, He will share everything we have (which is all His in the first place) and He will share all that He has with us. It really is as simple as that.

You know how I know? Because I own a condo, and I'm buying a house, and you're in California, and I have a good job and so on and so on.

So, since He wants to be our friend, we have to treat Him like our friend too. And that means that we have to be loyal like a friend and faithful like a friend. I told you a couple of months ago when you said you didn't know how to love everyone like Jesus did that you should think of how you love me and treat everyone like you (were SUPPOSED to) treat me. lol.

And we should do that because "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." (1 John 1:9) We can always count on Him. We can't always count on anyone else in our lives, not always, but Him we never have to worry about.

Sometimes it might seem like he's forgotten us, but I heard something else that I hold onto when things don't seem to be going my way: "The choices that God makes for our lives are the same choices we would make if we knew everything God knows."

So, I am glad that God is breaking you down and that you are seeing all of these things happen which are not coincidences. Now you have an understanding of why I am getting married in December, Amy and I have been experiencing that too almost since the first phone call we had. I knew He loved me before Sarah, but I didn't believe that I was worthy of all the things He is blessing me with now. I was just happy to be in the Kingdom, ya know?

Now, I can see how He is cleaning off my life, and He is showing me just how much He loves me as His friend and wants to bless me and show me that. And all I did was be loyal, and trustworthy. And that's all He requires of you too.

Does this sound familiar...Do the things you're supposed to do and not just things you want to do....lol. I know I said that to you 1000 times, but it sounds to me like you're finally getting it and I thank God for that. That really isn't my own statement though, it's just a paraphrase of: "He must increase, I must decrease" (John 3:30)

Thank You Daddy

Genesis 2:18-25 (New International Version)

18 The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."

19 Now the LORD God had formed out of the ground all the beasts of the field and all the birds of the air. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. 20 So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field.

But for Adam no suitable helper was found. 21 So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh. 22 Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.

23 The man said,
"This is now bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called 'woman,
for she was taken out of man."

24 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.

25 The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.

Like a Song

I wrote this to a friend yesterday. I was praying that God would give me the words I needed...and when I was done writing I was amazed at the work He had done.


Hola,
So, I need to go out and get some exercise, but I wanted to drop you a quick note just to explain about being a puppet.

The easiest way for me to say it is that being a Christian isn't about having to do what you're told, and being restricted from what you want to do. In short, it isn't about having the person you are stifled and frustrated. God doesn't want to dominate you.

Being a Christian is about God knowing you. And, before I go any further, we have to remember that God isn't human. He's...okay, you ready for the dictionary...I will be EXTREMELY impressed if you know these words...be honest and tell me if you knew them...

God is:
1. Omniscient

2. Omnipresent

3. Omnipotent

So, that means that God is everywhere, knows everything and can do anything. Which means that if you say I am not going to believe in God because I can't understand how he can be real without seeing him...but you are not omniscient, omnipresent and omnipotent...well...you have a chink in your logic...

But the truth of the matter is that you CAN see God, or at least the evidence of Him. Besides the fact that Jesus is a historical figure and nobody really argues whether he was a real person, there are other pieces of evidence.

My favorite piece of evidence is up in the sky. When I am somewhere out camping deep in the woods with no city around and I look up and can see ALL the stars...it gives me butterflies. No kidding. There are SO MANY. And I am sorry, for me to believe that some big bang put them all there or some other ACCIDENT...to me it takes a lot more faith to believe that it all happened by chance than to believe God created it.

There is other evidence too. One of my favorites is what goes on inside your brain. I can remember being in college and learning about how everything in there works...and I was...I was just baffled. There are so many things, when I stop and look and consider how complex they are...the oceans, the atmosphere, trees, birth, space, the sun, sunrises and sunsets, gravity, the way grass grows and birds fly.... all the little things about nature that are so amazing like dolphins and spider webs...and cats purring (yes, your mom told me and I have 4 cats and I love when they purr)....

Sorry, I'm getting passionate, but come on. If a couple of those things were here...okay, maybe I would doubt God a little...but there is ALL of that and so much more...and I'm supposed to believe that it's ALL AN ACCIDENT!! lol. *****...which one takes more faith...to believe God did it or to believe that it was all an accident?

So, in case you can't tell, when I get writing, I sometimes can't stop. To say the least.
But back to my original thought about puppets.

I said that being a Christian is about God knowing you. Because He is all the "omni's", He knows anything and can do anything, and is everywhere all the time. He sees everything. And, when I say he owns us, again I don't mean it in a bad way.

Like, when I write a song on my guitar and it's beautiful, (I'm not bragging) I love that song. I really love it, and even though I wrote that song, even though I "own" it, I don't try to make that song do anything else than what it was intended to do. Each song has a purpose. Like, some songs I write are serious and dark...well, I don't play those ones for someone when I'm trying to let them feel how much I love them...you know?

Well, people are a lot more special than songs. Did you hear the story about the guy in NYC last year that was in the subway last year with his two daughters when another man near him had a seizure and fell off of the subway platform and right on the tracks in front of a train that was coming? The father gave his daughters to another person and jumped right out on top of the man and held him down while the train went right over them. He saved the mans life.

He didn't know that man, he was just on his way to work. And he wasn't a cop, or an athlete or anything "important", he was a janitor. Well, to me, when I heard that story, I really felt special just hearing about it, because that was beautiful, that janitor was a hero. He didn't have to do what he did. He could have stood there and let the man die, and nobody would have blamed him. But he didn't. He decided that He was going to do something to try and save the man.

Anyway, my point is that everybody...well, almost everybody...has the ability to be good. And everybody has the ability to be good in their own special way because we are all unique. The problem is, that people get out in the world and they start thinking about themselves and become selfish and don't care who they hurt because they're "just trying to make themselves happy."

And that leads to sin. Really, that is sin.

Let me ask you this. How do you think that janitor felt about himself after he saved that man? Do you think he was a jerk about it and real proud and talked about how cool he was? Well, I actually got to see him interviewed a couple times and he wasn't anything like that. He was just really happy. He just felt really good. It was a selfless and noble act. It went exactly the opposite of the way everyone usually lives, which is why everyone was talking about it on the news and he was being interviewed all over the place. It was unusual. I believe that it was evidence for the part of us that is like God, from God, that's made in His image.

I'm going to get to my point. I promise.

Have you ever been to a concert? I've been to some really good ones, and what makes them really good is that all of the songs that the band plays are great, and they all...like build up until the end and the place is just off the hook and everybody is screaming and yelling and dancing and having the time of their life.

Well, every song that the band plays during that concert had a place. If the band came out and played just the first three songs, it wouldn't be any good. If they came out and only played every other song it wouldn't be as good, because we would be mad that they didn't play some good songs that they really liked. My point is that every song in that concert has a place where it is supposed to go, and a purpose it is supposed to fulfill. And when the song gets played right when it's supposed to be played, we say, "That was awesome!"

And people are just like that. We are all unique and we all have things about us that make us special and better at some things than others. Like I can sing but I can't draw. I can barely color inside the lines. And we know some of the things we're good at, but sometimes we're surprised when we do something well that we didn't know we could do well.

Well, because God created us, He knows everything about us, and He knows all the things we're good at and just where we fit in the "concert". And when we allow ourselves to be played like that, when we read the Bible and try to live the way it tells us to live instead of living like the world lives and trying to "make ourselves happy", people that know us and see the things we do say "That was awesome."

And just like that janitor felt after he did the right thing, doing that makes us happy. So, God owning us...it means that all the things about us that we like about ourselves, all the things we do well, He wants to make it so we can do them. He knows where we "fit" and what will allow us to do what we do best...and what will make us happiest...and he wants to use us to help other people feel that way to.

But we don't have to do it. Being used by God is a choice, so it's actually the exact opposite of being a puppet. Like I decided to sit down here and write this to you instead of watching the Red Sox or playing video games online with my friends. And I did it because God uses me by letting me do the things I do best, and I am happy, and I don't feel empty and messed up anymore because of it. I feel good because rather than spending all of my time worrying about me and "what's best for me", I take time to try and help other people like you. Which makes me happy, especially when they see how much God loves them and I get to be a part of them getting to be happy too.

Alright...sorry I wrote so much. I know I even might have been a little complex, but I get the feeling about you that none of this is going to be above your head.

Phew!
R-

Steroids in sports and society - Schilling vs. Bonds,et al

There's been a lot of talk in the media over the past few months concerning steroids as Barry Bonds has approached Hank Aaron's career home run record. This week Curt Schilling created a stir when he was questioned by Bob Costas about the subject.


Schilling made news this week when Costas asked him what he thought about the avoidance by Bonds (and others) to answering the question of whether or not they had used steroids:

"...I just always thought it was very simple: If you did something and someone asks you if you did it and you didn't do it, you say no. Any other answer than no is some form of yes, isn't it?"

This caused discussion of not only the steroids issue, but also the issue of whether Schilling, who people seem to either love or hate, should have opened his mouth at all.

A discussion such as this began on the Red Sox forum where I normally post and go for information. I was surprised to see a couple of people offer the opinion that steroid use could be used without harm in a controlled environment, even to the point of saying that the American public had been duped by the media to believe this wasn't the case.

I just responded back and thought I would share my response with you:

You know, I won't argue that blaming steroids for direct causation in what Chris Benoit did is inaccurate. I will agree that stating that "JUST steroids are responsible" seems pretty unenlightened.

On the other hand, I would suggest that many of the young men that are drawn to the benefits of steroid use are exactly the people that shouldn't be using them.

I'm reminded of a discussion I had with one of our assistant deans when I was in college. He told me that in all the time he had been dealing with students, the overwhelming majority of young men that were taking classes in preparation for law enforcement were decidedly unqualified for the profession due to several factors, including their egos and pride and how these played into what he believed was a jaded motivation to be in law profession to bolster their self esteem.

Now, perhaps that analogy doesn't quite fit, but I hope you understand the spirit of what I'm trying to say. So many of our young athletes today, especially the premier high school and college athletes, are coddled to the point that they have no comprehension of what the real world is like. Not, at least, until they finally reach a big enough pool of talent that they realize there are thousands of other guys just like them from cities and towns across the country, even the world, and that it is only the rare blessed few that ever really make their careers playing the sport that has allowed them privilege and notoriety up until that point.

Unfortunately, for many it is about this same time that all the privilege and notoriety suddenly disappear and the young man is left isolated and unpampered for perhaps the first time in their young lives. Many of them are also left intellectually and emotionally incapable of fully comprehending the full impact of decisions they make at this point out of sheer desperation, including of course, the decision to take and abuse steroids.

Personally, I grew up with two close friends that did abuse steroids. One was a chubby kid that everyone loved because of his awesome personality and humor, and the other was the product of a divorced family that was short and small and pretty annoying. The one with the decent personality also had a family that loved him,and they were able to intervene and get him back on track with his life, but not before he had caused considerable emotional harm to himself and those around him. The other kid I don't expect to live past 40 because of all the trauma he caused to his body.

My point is that you can't have this argument in a vacuum. If you want to talk about cop outs, then you have to include the cop out of saying "when used properly in a controlled environment, steroids are perfectly safe". To me, it is nothing short of reprehensible to hold this point of view when it is a fact that for the majority, perhaps greater than 95% of the time, this will NEVER be the case.

I didn't come to this conclusion because the American media steered me wrong. I came to this conclusion because I am intelligent, analytical, an athlete and because one day in the next few years I expect to hear about an old friend passing far to early.

Sarah and The Joshua Wildreness Institute

Randall Bray

Sarah Bray

952 B Snowfall Spur

Akron, OH 44313

Dear Friends and Family,

I trust that this letter finds you all well and enjoying the summer months. Although I am told that we need more rain I find this questionable since I’ve really enjoyed the weather. I may not be completely objective however since I’ve enjoyed only having one softball game rained out, and I also don’t have a lawn since I live in a condo.

Sarah has also been busy working full time at her job with the Heart Group and preparing for her time at the Joshua Wilderness Institute beginning this fall. For those of you who weren’t aware, Sarah was accepted into their 9-month program beginning September 9^th of this year.

The Joshua Wilderness Institute is a program “designed for those who know they want to serve the Lord but lack the discernment, focus, spiritual and personal discipline, or life experience to exercise real wisdom in everyday situations.”

As most of you know, Sarah experienced a series of traumatic events beginning with the aneurysm and prolonged coma our mother suffered during Sarah’s early teenage years. I simply do not have the space to list here all that she has been through, but I can tell you how proud I am of the progress that she has made.

There was a time not long ago that I sincerely worried for her life because of the choices she was making. Thanks be to God however, her behavior has undergone a change that is nothing short of miraculous in the past 12 months. As thankful as I am for that progress, I am still unconvinced that she is prepared for the autonomy of life at a University.

It was at precisely the time I began to consider college as a viable possibility that I first became aware of the Joshua Wilderness Institute. I was overwhelmed when I listened to the story of the young woman I heard describe Joshua on the Focus on the Family radio program, because her story so closely resembled Sarah’s. I firmly believe that this program is God’s will for Sarah’s life at this time. You can learn about the Joshua Wilderness on their detailed website by searching for it on line.

Although the program itself is very reasonably priced, there is an attendance guarantee of $4500 due on August 15^th. Altogether the cost of the program is $8000 with an optional trip to Israel next Spring costing an additional $4000. Sarah will work at the program however, and this will defray the expenses by roughly $2500, leaving the total cost for the year at $6270,or $10270 including the Spring Israel trip.

Presently our church, West Hill Baptist Church, has pledged $1000 and I hope to have enough funds to bring the total to about half the attendance guarantee. Unfortunately, we recently found out that our father will not be able to contribute, which has made this request for support necessary. I apologize for getting this letter to you at such a late date.

Would you please prayerfully consider joining me in fulfilling what I sincerely believe would have been my mothers wish, and what I firmly believe is God’s will, for Sarah at this time? I anticipate that her participation in this program will pay a lifetime, or more precisely, an eternity, of dividends.

For any additional questions please contact me during the evenings at 330-524-9979. If it is your desire to help, please make checks payable to Randall Bray. If we are unable to secure Sarah’s place by the August 15^th deadline and there is no extension, I will destroy all checks. I will notify everyone able to contribute at that time as well. Thank you for your consideration.

In Christ’s name

Randy Bray

The Legend of Randy Bray...Preface

OK. I know I'm not a legend. Randy will not begin referring to Randy in the third person or anything. Promise. It's just that, for around a decade I've had people tell me from time to time that I need to start putting some of my experiences down on paper. My favorite comment was from a guy named Pete Brayton. Pete told me something along the lines of "I don't know what story you're going to tell, but I know there is one inside of you, and it's going to epic when it comes out." I'm not kidding, Pete always talked like that.

Which reminds me of a story, which kind of relates to how legends get started in the first place. You may have noticed that Pete's last name is Brayton, which is very similar to my own. He also bears a resemblance to my step-fathers family. Well we got to talking one day and wouldn't you know it, his family traces their lineage back to the same northern New York town that my step-fathers family does. It wasn't difficult then to imagine that at some point in the past someone made a modification to the name, and that Pete and I were tacitly related. And that my friends, is how legends get started.

As I sit here and write this, I'm hit with some real pangs of nostalgia and sadness. I have a hard time letting go of things. For a person with my share of failures, more than my share in my estimation considering the gifts and grace I've received from God...anyway, for a person who has failed in large and grandiose ways in my lifetime,you might imagine that I've learned how to deal with loss and pain.

Well, I finally learned how to deal with it without becoming self destructive. For the most part. However, there are things I've been through that happened years ago that still come to mind a couple times a month. Things that still make me wince out of embarrassment, shame or the like. I haven't always been as noble as I would have liked, and for a long time, I lived my life as a hedonist.

A tortured hedonist to be sure. Always knowing the right and true way. Accepting my Savior and His sacrifice while rejecting the responsibility that accompanies it. But a hedonist just the same. Tortured, never satisfied and lacking peace in all things.

So, as I sit here and write this, I recall that the summer I spent enjoying the company of the Braytons were probably the penultimate moments of that hedonism. The "golden age" of my life, if you will. At least it seemed so then.

And knowing what I know now, having survived what I've survived, I wouldn't go back and live that life again. But sometimes I miss it, and sometimes I miss the people like Pete and Claudine and our moments lost in time. Legends never die. They just get better.

So, I want to tell my story, plain and true. I'm already debating about how much to share and how much to show you, but I think I'm going to be frank and open about everything. I won't lie to you, more often than not my life has been a painful warning rather than a good example.

Until it's taken as a whole. Until I step outside and see how God has redeemed my wasted years. Yet though he has forgiven me, my worry is that while I was busy serving myself, people God may have used me to reach fell along the wayside and will never see the Gospel lived. I am looking forward to the people I will get to spend eternity with, but sometimes I agonize over the ones I won't see there.

I'm here to tell my story, to give testimony if you will. I believe you'll find it part comedy, part thriller, part drama and part tear jerker amongst other things. I doubt you'll find it boring. I hope you find it interesting. I pray it is used.