The Meaning of Running with Scissors

Over the past couple of months I have seen an interesting trend when viewing the statistics of this site. At least once a week, someone is redirected to this site from Google after having done a search for "meaning of running with scissors" or something very similar. Due to this phenomena, I wanted to be a good internet citizen and provide you with the definition you are searching for.

I was tempted to offer said definition at the end of this blog post and make you read through some things I really want to say to you, but I'm not going to do that. I will simply ask that you take a minute or two to check out some of the other posts on my blog, and maybe even leave a comment or two.

I also wanted you to know that I have prayed specifically for those of you who found your way here in this manner.

Without further ado, here is my definition.

Running with Scissors:

1. A common American colloquialism which means to live life in such a way that you coherently recognize the inherent dangers of your actions, yet you participate/perform said actions nonetheless. (see "You'll poke your eye out")

2. A recent book which passes itself off as literature but which really depicts the troubled young life of it's author by using descriptions of pedophelia and homosexuality so graphic that I can not think of this book without physical revulsion. Hollywood has of course embraced it and made an "award winning" movie.

The "Why is This News" story of the day

This is hardly news.....

;^D

Three

Three.

Half of six.

The magic number.

We used to listen to that song and smile. I remember the days, even if she has put them behind her. We liked the part where it said "Man and a woman had a little baby...."

And then we had a little baby.
And then he was gone.

And we were broken.


Pushing God.

Disobedient.
Disciplined.
Distraught.

Three.


The number of years since I took that trip to MA with the cat we were going to leave with friends there because we had rescued those two litters from our parking lot.

We couldn't possibly keep five cats...could we?

Three years since we talked on the phone and decided that we couldn't part with little Sable. So, three years since I took Sable on a road trip to MA and back.


Three.



The number of years since she left.



I didn't know she would leave me when I got back.
I didn't know she could look so happy, so maniacal as she was driving that dagger into my heart.


Liar.


I always knew.


Three years since I was left alone in the world. On my own for the first time. Nobody to enable me. Nobody to bail me out.




All me.





Three years later I am so thankful.

Not for the leaving.

For the loving.
For the faithfulness.
For the patience.
For the care.

From God.

Every step.
Every tear.
Every fall.

He was there.

He is love.

New Videos

Good evening everyone,

Well, it took me all evening, and I'm not going to be real thrilled about it at 7:00, but I got all of the video from last Saturday nights show converted and uploaded to Youtube. It was really a great time, especially since I hadn't played with a band in front of people for more than a decade. The kids really got into it, and we felt very blessed to be there. Here are the links (in order) to check out the songs and my brief talk. Have a good evening.

Randy


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=us959S2S4MY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LDel2NjjGkA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l9zvwcEs398

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H77vMx3aUvk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oa3gEL5Ei6o

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-UEpiXZRHcQ

He Recognizes My Name OR That's My Dad

This is from an email I wrote to a friend today while at work. I was inspired, and then I was inspired to post it here as well.

I finally have a working computer again by the way, so I hope to be posting more again.

Hey,

Just sitting here and listening to that Watermark CD I borrowed from you a couple months ago. I will get this back to you as soon as possible by the way, now that I have my PC up and running again I can burn it, because there are songs I want to burn to do for special music. After Sunday and the harmonies that just sounded so sweet, I have some ideas for things that I think we can accomplish that will just bless that church. We have so much talent there, so many beautiful voices....

Anyway, I honestly had only listened to the song "Glory Baby" which you recommended and is a blessing, comfort and encouragement to me all at once. I can't wait to see my son. (The first words of this song were originally about that...I know you probably won't be able to access that from work btw) Sometimes I feel like I have so many bad moments, like my sin is just too much, but it just feels so good, better than I can describe, and it always makes my heart soar, and sore, that he knows, he KNOWS, that his daddy finally got it right and gave his life completely to God. Finally. He can be proud to claim me finally.

And that isn't even what I was writing to you about, but another song on the CD got me all emotional.

I was listening to "Who am I", and I was really liking the song. I was sitting here arranging it in my head and imagining how to expand it to include more voices, and then it got near the end and she sang:

"Who am I, that you would recognize my name?"

And man, it just floored me.

Honestly, I want people to know my name. I do. I think it's for the right reasons too. Mostly. I would love for people to know my name like they know David Crowder's name, or Shane and Shane...you know. I would get so much satisfaction from knowing that I was being used by God to touch people's lives, to reach them where they're at.

I would also get so much satisfaction from playing music all the time, it brings me so much joy. I am built for that and that life. It may not be here, but I am sure that one day either here or in heaven, I will get to play in a great band.

But it struck me when she sang that, that all of that, being known here as a musical evangelist, as a man of God, whatever....that's all good.....but it just is so insignificant when compared to the fact that God already recognizes my name! He knows who I am, and He knows why I do what I do.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, I really don't care if I get that life or if the extent of my "musical career" is leading praise and worship at our church. I told God last year that I was giving over control of my gifts to Him for whatever He wanted. Not my will but His be done.

This morning, after hearing those words and having this epiphany that the God of the Universe, the Creator of all things knows me...you know, it's funny, but just this morning I was driving to work and asking myself what the difference was between me and my old friends all those years I wandered. What was the source of my confidence all that time I was screwing my life up? I know it was a source of consternation for some people, and I think some people thought I was pretty confident for a guy that hadn't amounted to much.

This morning though, I concluded that the difference, the source of my confidence, was simply that no matter how far I wandered, I never lost my faith. I always knew who God was, I always knew how my "story ended", I just didn't accept the responsibility that came along with all of that. I didn't let God on my throne.

What people never saw though, was the inner turmoil, the hurts, the sense of failure that comes with the knowledge that your life isn't what it could be and the knowledge that the fault lies solely with you. That's how I felt for...decades...

Today though, just thinking that Jesus could turn with a smile to the Father and say "Yesterday Randy almost screwed that song up because he started daydreaming in the middle" and the Father wouldn't even have to ask, "Randy who?" That's amazing. I want to always feel the way I feel right now about the simple, and simply amazing, fact that God knows my name.

I can't even write "God knows my name" right now without being flooded with emotions and having to blink back the tears.

I would love for people to know my name. I would love to have David Crowder call me and say "Hey come play guitar with us", or just some stranger stop me on the street and tell me that God had used me to bless them....that would be great, and I daydream about those things happening someday.

But I already live in a world where God recognizes my name. I want so bad to keep my priorities straight so that always means more.

I was just going to send you a short note.....lol.

God bless you.

Randy

I live with me every day

I went to Homecoming at Geneva College this weekend. I won't give you the cliche, because I absolutely can believe that it's been ten years since I graduated. If you know me, or have spent any time at all reading this blog, you know that the last decade of my life has been full to say the least.

I loved being back to Geneva, but it was a little bittersweet at the same time. Walking through campus, watching the students interact, I felt really sad that I was now an outsider. Geneva meant so much to me, and I got to share a little bit of why with some people over the weekend.

I came to Geneva in 1992. I was a high schol dropout with a GED. I was making my way on attitude and bravado, riding a 1000+ score on a PSAT...I took with a hangover. I felt like I was cheating the system. That is so funny to me now. I felt like I had found a way to get around the corners, that it was all me. How differently that story gets told today.

Now I realize that in spite of me, God blessed me by allowing me to be admitted to Geneva all those years ago. In spite of my disobedience, God allowed me to be admitted and to eventually graduate. I think I was probably right about one thing back then though. When I went to my mother after one of the other cab drivers got shot, begged her for money for college and told her that if I didn't get an education that I would be dead by the time I was thirty...I was probably right.

My life was going downhill fast when God brought me to Geneva.

It wasn't all roses though. It was quite an adjustment for someone that had spent the better part of 3 years regularly associating with drunks, crack addicts, prostitutes and their clientele to be required to attend mandatory chapel.

So, I'd like to tell you that after four years I walked out of Geneva a completely changed man. That wasn't the case though. I had made strides, for sure, and I had a better grasp of the Bible and my personal theology. I still had God on hold though. I was still too willing to live my own life.

Still, as I normally reflect on my years at Geneva, I look on them with extreme fondness and thanfulness. I know that Geneva changed my life. All I have to do is check up on some of the people I knew 15 years ago and see where life has taken them to note that, there but for the grace of God go I.

And it's in light of that line of thinking that I can honestly say that I am thankful for the storms, I praise God for the tears, that I wouldn't have it any other way. God has refined me, and I long to serve him.

Still, I have plenty of times, sometimes minute by minute, that I feel like I know exactly how Paul felt when he said:

Although I am less than the least of all God's people, this grace was given me: to preach to the Gentiles the unsearchable riches of Christ

How could I know the Gospel of Christ, how can I have a personal relationship with Jesus himself and still sin the way I do? I know the answer to that question, but nonetheless, I realize more and more how graceful and holy God has to be to forgive a man like me.

So while I was sitting here tonight thinking about some of the ways I've failed over the past week, something I heard from a few people yesterday came back to me. Each person used different words of course, but the basic meaning was:

"I can see that God has moved in your life, you are not the same Randy Bray you were ten years ago."

They're right. He has moved, and He has moved me. He has moved me right off of the throne in my life (although at times I've led a failed coup or two). Thing is though, I live with me every day, and sometimes it takes someone that doesn't to highlight the changes we go through. I feel blessed today. Blessed to know that someone else, a couple someone's as a matter of fact, were able to see the power of God displayed through the way He has changed me.

If for no other reason than that, all of the storms, all of the tears, they were worth having lived through. This world is not my home. I can endure anything for this brief moment, because I will spend eternity with God, and these things will fade in comparison to being with God.

Purpose Driven life Chapter 3

So very busy. So very, very busy.

So very blessed. So very, very blessed

I am reading through the Purpose Driven Life with my best friend. Praise God.

Every day I write down my notes and send them to him. Most days they are just bullet points---yes, I know it's the third chapter and how could I say "most days" when this has only happened two other days...well, I've read through the book before...some of it...and I took notes before, but they weren't much more than the bullet points---but today as soon as I got to the initial Scripture (Eccleciastes 4:4) a big bomb went off in my head and I read and wrote for an over an hour. Here is the result.


PDL CHAPTER THREE NOTES

Okay, this chapter really got me going. I read the first Bible reference (Ecc 4:4) and had a full page and a half written just from that before I even got into the chapter....I'm not sure which to start with, I'll start with what I noted from the chapter first I guess and then expound on Eccleciastes.

Chap 3

Everyone's life is driven by something.

Nothing matters more than knowing God's purposes for your life, and nothing can compensate for not knowing them.

Without a purpose life is:

Motion without meaning
Activity without direction
Events without reason.

Five benefits of having a purpose:

1. Knowing your purpose gives meaning to your life

a. We were made to have meaning.
b. When life has meaning, you can bear almost anything.
Without it, nothing is bearable. <--Me after Patty broke my heart at 21

No God = No purpose = No meaning = No hope

2. Knowing purpose simplifies life.

a. Purpose gives us a foundation to make decisions, allocate time and resources.
Otherwise, we're just spinning our wheels and making decisions on the fly...or...see
me in my early20's? (Well, part of the time)

3. Knowing purpose gives focus

a. This is the biggest benefit for me I think. Without purpose, I definitely live a life
of "aimless distraction."

p II pg 32 = me without purpose

b. When light is focused enough (laser) it can cut through steel

4. Knowing purpose gives us motivation.

a. Nothing energizes you like a clear purpose. Purpose produces passion

b. I am a passionate person by nature, but the only thing that has produces sustained
passion in my life is serving God.

5. Knowing purpose prepares us for eternity

a. We're not here to leave a legacy, but so many people think they are. We're here to
prepare for eternity, which so many aren't

Okay, that's all the notes I took out of the chapter. Some good stuff, but the thing that impacted me the most was that "Ecc 4:4" verse, specifically the "chasing after the wind" part. it reminds me of what you and I have talked about, about how people get so caught up in things that aren't important. How they get trapped by trying to get ahead, to do more, have more, get more, be more...in the end, it's all meaningless...it's all fruitless...like chasing the wind.

So the verse caught me up because I had read through the first few chapters of Eccleciastes last fall in Sunday School and it inspired probably my first real "favorite" song of mine that I thought was musically and lyrically as good as what anyone else was singing about on the radio:

You can listen here

Holy is the Lord

All this vanity, All this pride, Never filling, the whole inside
Nothing new, Underneath the sun, You can chase the wind, as fast as you can run
You'll never find, the satisfaction that you seek, Never know, what is promised to the meek,
He counts the hairs, up upon your head, He knows your days, until the one when you'll lay dead

Holy Holy is the LORD
Holy Holy is the LORD
Holy Holy is the LORD
Holy Holy is the LORD

You know the truth, but you’re caught in a lie, obligated, to your foolish pride
You know the Word, that can save your soul, but you can't give up, this illusion of control,
Turn your ear, to the wisdom offered you, Apply your heart, to understanding what is true,
You'll find a treasure, worth more than all the gold, that you could count, in all the days until you grow old

Holy Holy is the LORD
Holy Holy is the LORD
Holy Holy is the LORD
Holy Holy is the LORD

You are so magnificent, Father
I consecrate this day to you,
Help me LORD, to be mindful of your ways,
In everything I say and do



So after that I went and read through all of Eccleciastes up until 4:4. I really like Eccleciastes because it was written by Solomon, the wisest of all men. I wrote it before in one of my first blogs that I thought given the choices Solomon had (money, power, wisdom) I would have chosen the wisdom as well. lol. I think I'm that wise. lol.

Anyway, I do aspire to be wise, not because of pride, just because I like to know the "answers" so that I can help.

So, i went back and read through and these are my notes from that.

----1:1-11, 2:14-16

Solomon points out that:

One generation comes, it goes, and another comes.
The sun rises, the sun sets, and the sun goes back around to rise again.
The wind goes South. the wind goes North. the wind completes its circuit and goes South again.
A river runs into the sea, but the sea never fills.

And then he clarifies what he is saying with:

That which has been will be.
That which is done is what will be done
There is nothing new under the sun.

And I love that, because it proves that thousands of years ago there was a man that believed the same things we believe now; that people were wasting their time trying to accomplish things which could never be accomplished. People were consumed with filling their lives with things that ultimately just didn't matter at all. It points to something which I believe, which is that the people that think we are becoming more enlightened as a race are fools. We are not progressing, we are driven by the same things that have always driven us. Lust, greed, power...nothing has changed...man is man is man.

And when you combine that with what Solomon says further in, in Ecc 2:14-16

14 The wise man has eyes in his head,
while the fool walks in the darkness;
but I came to realize
that the same fate overtakes them both.

15 Then I thought in my heart,
"The fate of the fool will overtake me also.
What then do I gain by being wise?"
I said in my heart,
"This too is meaningless."

16 For the wise man, like the fool, will not be long remembered;
in days to come both will be forgotten.
Like the fool, the wise man too must die!



It demonstrates that whether, as the book says, people are driven by; guilt, anger, fear, materialism or the need for approval, there is one thing that is certain....it's all pointless. It's all meaningles because it has all been done before and except for the exceptionally exceptional, the most wise of the wise (Solomon...Lincoln...Einstein...Edison) and the most foolish of the foolish, which to me means the most evil of evil because that is foolish to it's furthest degree, except for the most foolish of the foolish then (Hitler....Stalin....Nero.....Paris Hilton...lol)....except for these few people in all of history....NOBODY IS REMEMBERED AND NOTHING LASTS.

I know that was a giant run on sentence...but I'm writing as I would speak...I need to clean it up though.

Back to chapter one though, specifically 1:18, Solomon say he:

sought wisdom and found grief.

The notes in my Bible say:

"The very process of learning is an expansion of the awareness of our ignorance"

--- And that reminds me directly of what we were talking about when I pointed out that Paul said that he was the chief of sinners. That what Paul meant was that the longer he lived and the more days that he had to know God and how perfect and holy God is, the more Paul realized how little he deserved the mercy and grace that was given to us on the cross. Get it?

And then Solomon says that he sought happiness in wine and mirth (pleasure) and accomplishment amongst other things but he:

2:11 still had a sense that nothing lasting or enduring had been achieved

And I think this is where some people get caught up, because I know that there is something in me that says:

"Well, that sucks. That's not fair. You mean that there is nothing I can do here on this earth, there is nothing I can build or write or accomplish that is going to give me satisfaction?"

Well, first, that isn't what it means, but for my point about people getting caught up here and, specifically getting caught up and not being willing to turn their lives over to God, it's important to note that this is what I felt it was saying.

I think some people are selfish enough that they will turn away from God rather than having to find their pleasure in doing things for His pleasure rather than their own. What am I saying?! We're all that selfish, otherwise, once you became a Christian you would never sin out of pride again. And that just isn't the case. We forget Him in a heartbeat sometimes if we are presented the opportunity to claim a victory as our own!

The reason that 2:11 doesn't mean that we can never have a satisfaction in our accomplishments though is found in 2:24-26:

24 A man can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in his work. This too, I see, is from the hand of God,

25 for without him, who can eat or find enjoyment?

26 To the man who pleases him, God gives wisdom, knowledge and happiness, but to the sinner he gives the task of gathering and storing up wealth to hand it over to the one who pleases God.

It's not that we can't have the sense of satisfaction or accomplishment, rather, think of it this way:

I think most people would agree that you get a better sense of accomplishment and happiness from that which you have done for others than that which you have done for yourself. Well, taken a step further, that means that the ultimate and lasting sense of accomplishment and joy comes from that which you have done for God, or in obedience to God.

And that also ties into the 5th benefit that Warren points out:

Knowing our purpose prepares us for eternity.

When we:

1. Know God
2. Know His purpose for our lives
3. Act in obedience to Him and fulfill that purpose

We are living life as we will live it for all eternity.

---So, then we come to the most famous bits of Eccleciastes, and this is where I wrote the ultimate run on sentence.

Ecc 3:1-8


A Time for Everything
1 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:

2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,

3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,

4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,

5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,

7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,

8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

In my Bible notes it points out that some say that the Eccleciastes is actually a negative book, while others say that it shows that apart from God, life is utter emptiness. I don't believe either. I just believe that apart from God, life is nowhere near as joyful, focused and satisfying as life in his presence.

But, to sum up Ecc 1 all the way through 3:8, I think it shows that "it's all been done" and apart from:

a. the presence of God
b. the knowledge of His purpose for your life
c the knowledge that God is in control of all and that there is a time for everything
according to his purpose and His plan

apart from those three thing all that is left is one big cycle that:

a. may or may be satisfying
b. may or may not allow us to have some sense of peace in our lives (but not nearly the
sense one gets from knowing and trusting God)
c. may or may not allow you to have joy


Man, apart from those things, I'm sorry, but life sucks. Apart from those three things there must be hopelessness. What can you put your hope in other than God that you can always trust to bring you satisfaction, peace and joy?? NOTHING!!

Apart from those three things then, I believe Solomon is saying there is only madness.

And (here is where the run on sentence starts in my notes) it is okay, is acceptable to say that if you live apart from those three things that you are mad, that it is madness, because:

- to choose any other choice but to serve the GOD that made you is utter madness

- to choose any other choice but to love the God that loved you enough to GIVE YOU LIFE IN THE FIRST PLACE is madness

- to choose any other choice but to serve the God that loved you enough to pay the price for your transgressions, your sin, your willful disobedience....to choose any other choice than to choose to give your life over to the God that made you, and loved you and died for you on a CROSS after being BEATEN and HUMILIATED....

- to choose any other choice...

- to not choose the choice to serve Him, and instead choose to go it alone in the world where eveil lurks and waits to eat your life and soul

- to not choose to serve Him and instead choose eternity in Hell

- and to make such a bad choice and then act in varying degrees as if those people that have chosen to live their lives for the Creator of the Universe, the Creator of their very bodies and breath...

- to choose SO POORLY, and then act as if the people that have chosen so logically and well....to act as if they are simple and foolish......

well....that IS madness.......

Freud and the 3 Stooges....

While I was in MA over Labor Day weekend, one of my cousins gave me a paper I had written in college that she somehow came to be in possession of. I was just reading through it to see how much stuff I've forgotten in ten years when I came across the following analogy.

Many people believe that the Id is the "Moe" of the psychological realm, but this just isn't so. The Id is the "Larry". He doesn't really know why he slaps Moe, he just knows that after Moe disturbs his restful state, slapping Moe makes him happy.

The Id alone is uncontrollable. It has no sense of reality, and will take any action it deems necessary to maximize pleasure and/or minimize pain. The Id is totally unconscious.

The Ego is the "Moe" of the group. the Ego is rooted in both the unconscious and conscious, and the Ego knows what the needs of the Id are and how to gain those needs while avoiding painful consequences. His role is in planning actions to do just that, much like Moe is always looking to make the maximum profit (desired need) for the Stooges while completing the least work (painful consequence). The Ego mediates between the Id, the Superego and reality to maximize pleasure and avoid pain.

By default that makes the Superego the "Curly Joe" of the trio. The Superego strives for perfection. Although rooted in both the conscious and unconscious states, the Superego tries to influence the Ego to behave idealistically rather than realistically.


For the record. The paper was 12 pages long, and that was the extent of my Stooges analogies....although there was this little bit about the Ego and shopping:

The Id behaves very similarly to the way a man shops. For instance, a woman can enter a store, touch every single item on the rack and not make a single purchase. Men are different.

If a man is standing outside when the weather changes and he becomes cold, the man will enter a store and purchase a jacket. When he returns outside wearing the jacket, he is no longer cold. The Id behaves in much the same way in attempting to maximize homeostasis. The Id maintains status quo until interrupted. When this occurrs, the Id takes action to return back the initial status.


Also for the record...I got an A.

Vacation

I am on vacation in MA.

Today I woke up early, then sat outside and enjoyed a book in the cool New England morning.

Going back outside now.

Autumn is coming.

Apparently... (Quick run through current events)

Apparently...August is my "vacation from blogging" month....

Actually, I've had tons to write about, but not the time. It's 1:30 in the AM for instance. Just got back from my Associate pastor's house (who knew pastor s stayed up that late, huh?) and watching the 200th episode of Stargate-SG, which was prtty average. Actually, he really likes the shows and I am a big Sci-fi/Fantasy fan (For instance I am one of the 7 people...including the author...that even knows there was a second Stargate book, and one of three to have read it) so we have a good time watching these shows together.

The big news this week though is that as we speak, I am batting in a softball game. Seriously. It's the top of the 7th, the score is tied 22-22, there are men on 1st and 2nd base and I am at the plate. Those were the circumstances on Monday night in our church's Quarterfinal playoff game when we finally had to call the game because of rain. So next Monday, we will resume the game from that point....no pressure for me at all [end sarcasm].

Actually, as much as I want to move on and win the championship, even if we lose I really feel like our team walks away winners. I know how cliche' that sounds, but it's true. As a coach it has been such a blessing for me to watch these guys this year go out there and represent our Lord and our church with such poise and gentleness. Their testimony has been above reproach, and even better, other coach's and teams have noted it to me and to us as a whole. I am humbled to think that God has put me in charge of such a wonderful group of guys. I know I'm not worth it, but I aspire to be, and it keeps me focused on trying to live each day for my Master and Savior.

Praise God.

It's all Israel's fault??!!

Local media tonight ran a story about an American family that lived near Cleveland. The family had been visiting Lebanon when the current situation was set off. The husband told how he was shocked that the Israeli response had been so severe when their two soldiers were kidnapped. I believe he said the response was out of proportion for two kidnappings?

Really?

Well what is proportionate? I mean how do we judge that? Even more pertinent, how proportionate do you think it would be if it was your son that was kidnapped by a terrorist group?

I became more and more annoyed, to the point of outright anger even, as I watched the family being interviewed. They talked as if the reaction from Israel was completely unwarranted, like it would be if some one bumped into you on the sidewalk and you ran them over with your car.

I hate people like that. Hate is a strong word, I know. Okay, I can't stand people that are passive aggressive little ninnies, people that do something that is completely inconsiderate and then wrinkle their lips at you when you respond unfavorably.

As I sat there and watched this family, I saw a lot of wrinkled lips.

When are these people going to learn? Will they ever learn? Israel does not play games. They are very patient for long periods of time, but eventually, after enough bombs have gone off and enough blood is spread in the streets, they retaliate. Make no mistake about it, this is not (as the media likes to call it) a cycle of violence.

This is one country that is constantly tormented by a group of people that lack all civility and who are forced to respond with force because of it. I just don't like the way the media uses the "cycle of violence" phrase to describe the situation, because that infers that Israel is equally responsible for the situation, and that isn't the case.

So this family droned on and on to the oh-so-concerned reporter about how terrible the conditions there were, and pointed their accusatory fingers right at Israel. Here's the thing though. You people that want Israel to stop acting with force in the Middle East....get the stinking terrorists to stop blowing people up, kidnapping soldiers, renegging on peace agreements, etc.

The problem doesn't lie with Israel's response you fools, it lies with what they are responding to.

And as for this family and the rest of you that like to point your fingers in Israels direction....

One hundred rockets were fired into Israel today. Most news reports I saw were filmed in Lebanon and told the story of how unfortunate the citizens there were,and the plight of foreigners that still remained there. I didn't see any stories about Israeli citizens. I guess their plight doesn't matter....

VBS Lessons

I started writing this last week during VBS, but never got the chance to finish it. Then I finally did and added all of two paragraphs.....lol.



I'm helping to teach the lessons this year in VBS. I'm very honored to have been chosen for this responsibility, as this is the lynchpin to everything else that occurs each night at Vacation Bible School.

Tonight the lesson was from Mark 2 and the story of the paralyzed man. Tonight I was responsible for the behind the scenes portion of the lesson, and while I was busy doing my tasks I was thinking about the story.

In case the rest of my blogging hasn't given it away, I am a very empathetic person. When I study the Bible then, it is only natural for me to think about what a person might have been thinking and feeling when certain events were taking place. So tonight, I was thinking about those friends that cut the hole in the roof.

Work with me here and imagine your four closest friends. Imagine that tomorrow, you go out and suffer a horrific accident and you are left completely paralyzed. Now, imagine that you live in a 3rd world country, and there is no hope of physical therapy, or disability payments. Your friends, who are all fishermen and tradesmen, struggle enough to feed themselves and their own families.

Now, think of the hope they have as they hear of this great teacher who has the ability to heal people of even the most dire physical infirmities.

Actually, how much hope do you think they would have? How much hope would you have if you heard about a man such as that? Honestly? I probably wouldn't have a lot to be honest. Sounds like a scam to me.

So the first obstacle then is to even bring your paralytic friend to see Jesus in the first place, although I suppose we can assume that since the whole house was packed that there had been enough reliable testimony to give the four friends genuine hope.

In all reality, there were probably varying degrees of skepticism amongst the friends, but that's not neccesarily important to me right now.

What I was considering tonight during the lesson was how these four friend would have felt once they had taken the effort to hack through that roof and lower their friend into the room where Jesus was sitting and speaking. What I was considering was how these four friend would have felt once all of that had happened and they were witness to Jesus telling their friend to get up and walk....and he did...

Think of yourself as one of the friends.

Now think of how you would have felt about your friends if you were the guy on the mat.

I think there is another lesson here too beneath the surface. It's an extrapolation beyond the point Jesus was teaching, but I wonder if it isn't important nonetheless. Maybe it's even too simple, but I'll tell you anyway.

I think it's important to note that it took four friends.

Forgiveness

I went way off the reservation last year.

I'm trying to tell you that I fell into sin, (and dove in and didn't come up for air is more like it) but I'm trying to convey that I fell far and hard without shocking you with the details.

There are a number of painful anniversaries that occur for me in the first half of the year.

Every year.

Last year, sometime in the middle of January, I felt my grasp beginning to loosen and that was the beginning of a downward slide that was cut short only by the near-death experience you can read about elsewhere in this blog.

Almost dying had an effect on me though, more profound than I feel adequately capable of expressing. The realization of how I had wasted so many of the past thirty-something years, and how little time I might really have left, caught me up short and made me re-evaluate everything.

I changed. I knew then that it was something that was going to have a lasting effect on me, and after a year I can say that it truly has.

I'm not sure everyone feels that way.

See, some of the things I got involved in came to light, and I know a number of people around me found out some, or even all, of the details. Or maybe it's more accurate to say that a few people found out the details because they either came to me and asked, or I confided in them at one point or another. Other people got information which I am not sure was entirely factual.

Frankly, I'm glad the things that came out did come out. God blessed me, because not having to worry about when that information would come out is a huge relief.

Thing is though, I know one way or another, people got information because there was a behavior change.


The "room" became cooler.

And now we're a year beyond all that, and I find it to be a little upsetting. I'm not angry upset. Honestly, it all makes me a little sad, and I even feel compassion for these people.

Jesus said:

"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another"

I know Jesus loves me. I know that Jesus has accepted my repentance as real. I know that if Jesus came to my church, he would talk to me and hang out with me, because that's how Jesus loves.

I have also come to learn over the last year what it means to love like Jesus. Don't get me wrong, I'm still eons away from attaining perfection. I still get angry, I still lust, I could be a better steward in many ways...there are a number of things that I am working on.

There are some things that I have done that were right over the last year too though. I know that I am learning to love like Jesus because I have done things over the last year that went against my better interests, or even in spite of the fact that I had been slighted.

I called my Dad and invited him to visit. I remember the reasons I have to be angry with him, but when I think of him coming to visit I get tears in my eyes. He's my Dad. I have valid reasons to be angry, but I want my father to be impacted for Christ, and so I have to let the Spirit work through me.

Mostly though, I feel like I am learning to love like Jesus because I am modeling it for you as best I can when you look at me with that condescension and judgement written all over your face.

When you fillet me with your eyes and give me that tight little grin, I will always smile and act as if nothing has changed in our relationship. Because for me, nothing has.

I still love you and I still think you are wonderful.

Way Funny

I needed this today.

Praise God for Rainy Mornings

Okay, I happen to really like waking up on morning with the windows open to the sound of rain falling. It's very peaceful.

That's not what this is about though, I was just feeling sentimental.

Here's what this is about.

Last year two planes collided at Minneapolis/St. Paul International on the tarmac. Jet fuel spilled all over the runway, and there certainly was the potential for a good number of injuries and fatalities, but ultimately nobody was hurt. Reason? There was no spark created. If you watch the video here you'll see that it was a rainy morning, and I'm sure that had something to do with it.

On another note, how about the brave airport workers that you see in the video helping get the passengers off of both planes. I think I'm going to start an "unsung heroes" website so people can write in and tell about the nice/generous/heroic things others have done for them which went unnoted.

New Song - Sometimes

Lyrics to the new song I wrote at 2 Am this morning:

Sometimes, I'm Happy. Sometimes, I'm not.
Sometimes, it takes a little. Sometimes, it takes a lot.

Sometimes, I'm forgiven. Sometimes, I forgive
Sometimes, I struggle, with why I'm livin the life I live.

Yeah, Searchin for the finer things.
Yeah, Taking what my life brings
Yeah, Hoping to find that one sunrise
That lasts a lifetime long

Sometimes, it's a minute. Sometimes, the whole day long.
Sometimes, you can't sing it, unless you've lived the song.

Sometimes, all in color. Sometimes, black and white.
Sometimes, I wonder if I'll, ever get this thing right.

Yeah, searchin for the finer things.
Yeah, taking what my life brings.
Yeah, hoping to find that one sunrise,
That last a lifetime long. (2x)

You can download it here and listen if you want. It's not perfect, it was recorded at 2 AM!!
Sometimes quickdump is a pain, but if you retry a few times it usually works.


EDIT- This song has already been rerecorded and you can listen to it here streaming so I disabled the first link.

Hunter needs prayer. You can help.

I get about two lines into this everytime I read it and my eyes fill up with tears.

This little guy needs your faithful and fervent prayers.


Hunter's Story


And so do his parents. I burned my leg when I was 12, and spent a month in the hospital with 3rd degree burns. It was horrible, because due to how I burned my leg they weren't able to do skin grafts for over a week. Three times a day they would come in and "clean" my leg with a brush. They had to bring a team of nurses to hold me down. I'll never forget the looks of helplessness on the faces of my family.

Check the main page of the site for the updates and how you can pray specifically.

Here is the quote from the site which gets me every time. I wish I accepted hardships as well as he does:



I just want to say to you that Hunter is amazing. Not once in six years, NOT EVEN ONCE, has he ever complained about his disabilities. Even when he falls fifty times a day he is never upset. He just yells out “I’m OK” and gets right back up. When his legs won’t work at all he simply says “these crazy legs are at the beach today”. He always has a smile on his face and joy in his heart. He has an incredible sense of humor and a gift for touching people deep within their soul. He really is a miracle.

What did He write in the sand?

In John 8:1-11 we are told the story of the Pharisees and their attempt to beguile Jesus by bringing Him a woman that had comitted adultery. It is speculated that they were either trying to get Jesus to say she would not be stoned so that they could accuse Him of being an enemy of the Law, or to get Jesus to say she should be stoned and therefore accuse Him before the Romans.

Recently a friend of mine relayed to me a Bible study they were involved in regarding this passage. One of the questions that they had asked was what it was that Jesus could have been writing in the sand.

Wesley proposes that Jesus wrote in the sand to signify that He was not yet come to condemn the world, but to save it, and Calvin says that anyone that even conjectures about it misses the point. I think Calvin is wrong. I think trying to go one step deeper into the Bible (while remaining in context of course) is the only way to interpret the Bible. It's the only way I can make the story of a God that became man relevant to me. I need to think about what He must have felt like to walk among us, and what the moments were like that He did.

The Bible study I was talking about came up with a few different answers about what Jesus might have written in the sand, but I found one to be particularly enjoyable.

The Bible tells us that after Jesus was challenged by the Jews about what to do, that He rose from writing in the sand and said"

"If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her."

Then he returned to writing in the sand. John then relates that beginning with the oldest, or probably more precisely, the most honored among them, they departed one by one until none were left. So was it just the wisdom of what He said that caused them to lose the wind in their sails? Maybe, but here is what the Bible study proposed.

What if Jesus was writing the names of the women (or men) that these particular Jews had commited adultery with? That would expain the eldest departing first as more time/power equals more opportunity. The most honored of the Sanhedrin would also have the most to lose. Imagine the looks on their faces if this were the case and He sqautted there, wrote a name, looked up at a specific man...

So maybe not, maybe this is the first recorded instance of the game of tic-tac-toe, I don't know. I just thought their proposal was funny as well as intruiging., and I love the way Jesus constantly put these guys in their places.

End of an Era. Thanks Andre Agassi.

For years when I was younger, my parents had a trailer at Sunsetview Campground in Monson, MA. They actually had two trailers there over the years. They bought the first from my grandparents and then bought a better one later on.

I spent so much time there in the summer that anytime I am outside in the summer and reminiscing about Massachusetts, I can't help but think of that place. I had my first kiss there, I hit my first homerun there, I played guitar on stage there for the the first time. I have so many stories I could tell, there are so many memories that I keep, so many people that I miss. Once I thought I would never forget the names, but so many of them have become just concepts now, even their faces are lost to me.

One of the things I did do every summer though was get up and watch Wimbledon. It became a tradition for me to lay on the couch during the morning all of the weekend of Independence Day and watch the semi-finals and finals of that great tournament.

Now, I'm not a huge tennis fan, but the allure of Wimbledon is not easily withstood. Of course, it doesn't hurt that in the beginning of this tradition I was watching players like Borg, Connors and a young man named John McEnroe compete against one another in epic matches. Even today replays of those matches are gripping.

I was reminded of those days earlier this week when I saw that Andre Aggasi had decided to retire and that this week would mark his last appearance at Wimbledon. He had finally succumbed to a nagging back injury, and in fact, today he was knocked out of the tourney for the very last time.

As I heard the news I sat and thought about those days when all I had to do was get up and watch tennis before I went and played softball. They seem so very far away now. With the retirement of Agassi, I suppose they are even further.

Still, for a few moments this week I was able to remember what it was like to lie there and watch tennis as my mother and father cooked breakfast and got the camp ready for the coming day. I can touch the security of my family which is gone now forever. I can smile smiles back at smiles I saw so long ago. And I can say a thank you to a man I watched upon that stage so many years ago.

Andre Agassi came onto the stage a brash long haired ball of fire. I didn't even like him that much at first honestly. Over the years though I couldn't help but respect the passion with which he played the game, and admire the skill and poise he displayed so many times.

Today's players seem so very vanilla to me, but Andre came along at a time when the shadows of Connors and McEnroe still dominated the American tennis world. He took over right where they left off, and I don't know that another American player will ever capture the majesty those men had.

Thank you Andre, for all those mornings.

Get Your Thumb Out of My Eye: Outsourcing Responsibility

Myspace isn't to blame for everything that happens there. Read more below about who is really getting off easy.

Get Your Thumb Out of My Eye: Outsourcing Responsibility

Wall of Pride...revisited

This is one of my favorite posts, and I've referenced it to more than one person in the last couple of days, so I thought I would make it easier to find.

Click here

Big Papi

With names like Fisk, Williams and Yastrzemski in the history of the Red Sox it isn't easy for a guy that has been with the team a relatively short time to capture an award like "Greatest Clutch Hitter in Red Sox history". That's exactly what David Ortiz did though after providing three game winning hits in the 2004 MLB playoff as he led the Red Sox to their first championship in 86 years. (You might have heard about it...)

Here is a nice article about David, and the things that keep him focused on the things that are important in life. I can relate to a lot of what he has to say, especially concerning the loss of his mother, and how that just puts everything else into perspective.

Thomas Sowell

I love reading Thomas Sowell. He is an amazingly smart man. Earlier this year he even sent me an autographed copy of his latest book "Black Rednecks and White Liberals" after I contacted him concerning an e-mail I had sent another writer concerning affirmative action, amongst other things.

My main point had been that I grew up in a housing projects, the son of a single mother until she married when I was 7. My parents struggled to make ends meet for years and did not finally own a home until I was in my teens. Then I went to college with kids that grew up with far more privelege and options, but they walked away from school with zero debt while I am still saddled with tens of thousands of dollars in loans. Why? Because of skin color. Yes, I do feel discriminated against. Affirmative action sucks. How is that for eloquence?

Anyway. Enough of that. One of my favorite times to read Thomas Sowell is when he does his "random thoughts" columns, and he did one yesterday. I won' spoil the whole column for you, but here are a couple snippets I found especially enlightening:

The beauty of doing nothing is that you can do it perfectly. Only when you do something is it almost impossible to do it without mistakes. Therefore people who are contributing nothing to society except their constant criticisms can feel both intellectually and morally superior.




"We are a nation of immigrants," we are constantly reminded. We are also a nation of people with ten fingers and ten toes. Does that mean that anyone who has ten fingers and ten toes should be welcomed and given American citizenship?

Brookers

Get ready America, you're about to be hit with something you never expected. If you've ever been to Youtube.com chances are you have an idea who "Brookers" is, and why I am bringing this up now.

Brookers is a 20 year old young woman from Massachusetts (who better be a Red Sox fan or my next blog about her will not be anywhere as nice) that makes these outrageously funny videos and posts them on Youtube. They are so good that she has become a cult figure on Youtube and is about to gain national notoriety. She can't say how, but I'm guessing she's about to sign with MTV (she says it's a TV company) and produce her own show. It should be great.

After watching her videos, especially this one:




I can't help but be touched by her and her story. I know my heart goes out to her because she and I share the pain of losing a parent, and whether you're 20 or closing in on 40, that loss never fully goes away. Add in the fact that I have a sister the same age and the reasons become even more obvious I guess.

This was the first Brookers video I ever saw, and I think you'll see right away why I kept looking for more of her stuff.


Good luck Brookers, and God bless. I'll be praying for you.

Game Winning Hit

Bottom of the seventh. Bases Loaded. Two outs.

Is there any more pressure packed situation in all of sports? Perhaps lining up for a game winning/tying field goal comes close, but the guys that are trying to stop you don't normally play that big of a part in the sucess or failure. Either the kicker is true or he chokes.

So there I was Monday night, my team down by a run and the game on the line. Adding to the pressure was the fact that I booted an easy line drive in the sixth inning which led to a run. The run we were now losing by.

When we came in to bat that inning I just had this feeling that I was going to come up to bat with the game on the line. It wasn't a hope really, somehow I just knew that it was going to happen. Don't get me wrong, coaching third base through 8 batters was excruciating. I was spared no angst at all. Then when I was standing in the batters box watching our Associate Pastor bat, I kept thinking to myself "Okay Pastor David, I know I can do this---but if you want to get the hit and be the hero, that's fine with me too."

The funny thing is that he told me later that he was in the batters box thinking that if he could draw a walk then that was what he was going to do because he knew I could get the hit and he hadn't hit the ball well that night.

I knew I could do it. That's what I kept thinking about. It's softball. The guy tosses you the ball underhand. I've been doing it for more than 25 years. Still, there's always the chance that someboy will make a great play.

But they didn't.

I walked to the box and I looked out at the pitcher and I literally saw fear in his eyes. It was a tough inning for him, he was having a hard time finding the plate and we had some calls go our way finally after having them go against us all game long. I felt compassion for him, I really did.

His first pitch was about shoulder high and I just smacked it solidly into center field. There was never any doubt after that. Our fastest two runners were on second and third and they each scored easily. As i rounded first base and looked out towards center field I felt...nothing really.

I was happy that we had won, and I could hear the guys going crazy, but I was just somewhere else at that moment. I also had been so sure that I could get the job done that the fact that I had done it didn't come as much of a surprise to me. I was prepared for the job.

Almost immediately the contrast between this year and last year hit me. Actually, it's more like the contrast between this year and all of the years that have come before it. Last year our team struggled to what I think was a 5-9 record, and as the story goes, I nearly died halfway through the season. I never felt comfortable as a coach. I always felt like a fraud because my personal life and my testimony were in shambles.

This year all that is changed. This year I still have the same emotional aches and pains that I have always have, but I have a commitment to God to be obedient, a faith that He is in control of my life and most impotantly a trust that He loves me and cares for me. This year, as on Monday night, when I "walk to the plate" I am prepared to succeed. When God lines me up in the batters box with the game on the line, He and I both know that I can get the job done.

I can't tell you what kind of peace that brings to my life. I can't begin to explain what a comfort it is that he is watching over my life every day. Finally, I wish that you would all know the joy that I know because one day this world will all go away and a new perfect world will take it's place. One day I will spend all of my time with Jesus, and because God is love, I will never know better moments that those.

Open The Eyes of My Heart

Here is the a live recording of Steve and I from Sunday mornings worship service. God bless

Get Your Thumb Out of My Eye: Are we allowed to be wrong?

Get Your Thumb Out of My Eye: Are we allowed to be wrong?

This is a great blog piece written by a friend of mine. He is so astute and well thought out that I never fail to be impressed by his lines of reasoning.

Ready to go

Sometimes I'm just ready to go. Sometimes I'm just all set with the people in this world, the lack of feeling and compassion, my own shortcomings, pain, cruelty, war, strife, spite, rude behavior, lust, work, television, my own shortcomings....man I just raise my voice to heaven sometimes and let God know, "Now is fine with me. If you were thinking of coming back today, I'm ready to come home now."

I had one of those moments last week when I was in Las Vegas for a trade show. Uh-oh, I can feel myself getting off track here. Okay, so I had to go to Las Vegas for this trade show, and the reaction from some of my Christian friends was just hilarious. You might have thought I had renounced Christ as my savior and taken up shamanism based on some reactions I got. So here's just a little tidbit of information....I don't need to go to Las Vegas to sin. There is nothing in Las Vegas that I can't get right here in the comfort of my own home...well, other than 100 degree temperatures in May I guess.

Let me put it to you this way. When I was in college I spoke with a number of Elementary Education majors that told me that they hoped to be able to graduate and find positions with good Christian Schools. When I asked why they wouldn't want to teach in public schools, they said that the "situation was too difficult."

So what good are you then?

Don't get me wrong, I know that we need to have good teachers in our Christian schools.....but what about that unsaved kid in public school. Doesn't he need an example too?

So yeah, I went to Las Vegas, and when I walked up and down the strip at night and the Mexican gentlemen tried to get me to take their pornographic paraphenalia, I said "I'll pray for you." When they said "No se'." I said "Rogaré para usted." and smiled. Okay, I'm not that good with Spanish anymore, I confess to having to Google that.

So, don't they need Christians in Las Vegas?



So I'm walking through the Casino (which is a little redundant, because basically when you are in Las Vegas you will always be walking through the casino....or a buffet) when I saw this couple walking along. The husband was walking along in front as the wife brought up the rear. walking alonside her was what I assumed was their son, who was mentally retarded.

A couple of thoughts went through my head. The first was the thought I usually get when I see someone like this, and I also used to get when I worked in the Human Services field with all sorts of emotionally and mentally impaired populations by the way. Whenever I see someone like that, I usually get this wave of compassion that rides over me and I think to myself "I'm ready to go God."

I used to work with a guy I'll call John. John suffered from extreme Muscular Dystrophy and had a hard time with even the most basic of human functions. However, although John suffered from this physical impairment, he did have all of his mental facilities. I will never forget the night that I was tansferring him from his wheelchair to his bed and I decided that I was going to share the Gospel with him. I asked him the important questions about believing in Jesus as his Savior and was delighted to find out that John was already saved.

What sticks out in my mind most of all though was the emotion in his eyes as he stammered out "No more wheelchair," as best he could. We shared a moment then that exploded with emotion as I lifted him out of his chair and changed him from jeans and a shirt to his pajamas. Both of us had tears in our eyes as we considered the fact that one day John would be free of this body that trapped him.

And that's the thought process that goes through my head whenever I see someone afflicted like that, or mentally or emotionally challenged....man, I'm just ready to go home to heaven sometimes, so that the corruption of my sinful nature will be forever removed from this world.

It hit me especially hard in Las Vegas, because the impact was twofold. First, there was the reaction that I just described, but I also had another deeper emotional pang as well. As I looked at this young man, I could see him looking around almost in sheer terror and clutching at his mothers arm as he took all of that casino in. The lights, the weird noises, the smoke, the diabolical laughter and people of all shapes and sizes....it's overwhelming no matter what state you are in, and this poor young man was simply petrified.

I got angry then, really angry. I was furious that this couple would be so intent on satiating their vices that they would drag this young man with them to Las Vegas. I started to think even more about some of the couples that I had seen that had made a "family vacation" out of a trip to Las Vegas and had brought their young children, or even thier teens with them. Las Vegas is no place for adults, never mind children.

I just got so frustrated. I couldn't believe these people just didn't get it. I walked through that casino and I looked evidence of every kind of debauchery imaginable, all of it built on the love of money....and I just got sad. I didn't want to be here anymore. I wasn't suicidal, that's not what I'm saying. I was just all done with the world and the way it is. I know that 90% of the 90% of people that call themselves Christians in this country aren't, and I was really feeling some despair as I walked through that place and thought about what a terrible choice these people had made.

I wished that I could grab them all, one at a time, give them a good shake and try to wake them up to what is of real importance in this life. I knew most of them wouldn't get it though, and that made me even more sad.

And then it hit me.

This had to be what it was like for Jesus.

I mean, sometimes I'm one of those people that needs to be shaken. I only have the vaguest understanding of what Heaven is going to be like. I have what amounts to a childs understanding of the nature of God, the trinity, Jesus.

But Jesus knew it all.

How heavy was his heart as He walked amongst men and watched them make poor decision after poor decision? How much did it slay him when he saw an innocent taken advantage of? How did he go on when he saw injustice and greed and evil and the grim heart of sinful man around him every day? How could this perfect, loving, compassionate man stand it at all?

How can He love me?

Did Jesus Imply He Sinned

Okay, I haven't had the time to post here recently. I have one post that is still in the draft stages because I haven't had the time to finish it, and another about some stuff that happened in Las Vegas which is still in "brain-draft" status because I haven't had the time to start it. I promise (his voice echoed through the empty room) that I will get to both of those in the very near future. For now, here is a short "conversation" I had regarding a question someone had about a passage of Scripture.

Quote:

"Let the one of you who is sinless be the first one to cast a stone at her. Woman, where are they? Did no one condemn you?
Neither do I condemn you."

Question:

Isn't Jesus implying that he has sinned at some time in his life?

Answer:

Not at all, although I do understand why you could ask this question and it is a very good one. I see your thought process as being that:

A. Since only a person without sin should cast a stone

and

B. Since Jesus was not going to cast a stone

that

C. Jesus is then saying that he has sinned.

The problem with that reasoning is that Jesus doesn't say why He isn't going to cast a stone, He just says that He won't do it. Whether you believe in His deity or not, there are many logical reasons for Him not to cast a stone.

Most importantly, He wasn't the one that wanted her stoned in the first place. Of course maybe there were no rocks near Him and He simply didn't feel like walking to where there were rocks and lugging them all back to where the woman was (provided she stayed where she was) and then throwing all the rocks (because nobody without sin could throw a rock) until she was dead. Okay, that's a little silly, but do you get my point?

I believe His refusal to cast a stone is consistent with what He had to say about Himself in the second part of Mark 2:17:

"I came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance."

It certainly wouldn't seem to make a lot of sense for Him to start casting stones at the very people He claimed to have come to minister to.

Hope that helps!

What would you choose?

Okay, so I know I'm going to take some flack from some people for admitting this, but I was driving to work today and I was listening to Nancy Leigh Demoss. Go ahead and snicker, I can take it, yes I did get up on the effiminate side of the bed this morning.

Actually, Revive Our Hearts comes on for 15 minutes after Erwin Lutzer does 15 minutes, so I listen to her when I can take it. Frankly, sometimes she starts talking about being patient with your husband and how a Godly wife should act and, being divorced, it starts working at some scabs.

You know, I didn't intend to blog about this, but I'm going to bring it up anyway. Actually, it will be a good way to segue into what I originally logged on to blog about. Anyway, you know, being a Christian doesn't solve all of your problems. I mean, the easiest way to illustrate what I am talking about is to point out that a prisoner that accepts Christ as their savior is still in prison..... it's just that he's free. Get it?

So, I am divorced, but just because I lean on God and find peace and shelter in His presence doesn't mean that some days I don't still cry. God isn't some miracle oil that just takes away all of our hurts and makes us shiny happy people. Oh, sometimes He does, but make no mistake about it, storms will come again, and there will even be times when God will not seem to be there when you reach out. Those are refining and testing times, and because we can never achieve perfection, we will be refined and tested until the day that we die. The ironic thing is that it isn't because God is a big meanie, it's actually because that is how much he loves us.

And that leads me up to what I originally intended to write about today. I was driving to work and listening to Nancy Leigh Demoss and she repeated something that she had heard that stopped me in my tracks. I immediately called my voice mail and repeated it just so that I wouldn't forget what it was. She was talking about our lives and the choices that God makes for them and she said:

"God's choices for our life are exactly what we would choose if we knew what God knows."

How deep is that?

That just brought me a lot of peace this morning. I trust God, and I hope you do too, but I have to admit, some days I'm looking up at the sky asking, "Um yeah, okay God, just how exactly does this fit into that plan for a hope and a future??"

Well, I don't know what God knows, which makes it frighteningly silly and incredibly arrogant for me to be asking that question of him. Still, I'll ask it again I am sure.

The point is that we need to remember who God is when we're in the midst of a storm and try to understand that what we are suffering through may be the event that eventually leads us to turning a significant corner or taking a step we have long struggled with in our walks with Christ.

I've been through a lot, and this quote means so much to me because I can attest that the principle it suggests is true. I don't like being divorced, but I can honestly tell you that I am happy that it happened. God has never had my attention like He has had it for the last couple of yearsand it's because I had to depend on Him to get me through that.

Christ Lives...it's only logical.

I had to go and find this quote from Ronald Reagan so I could post it here today. So many people want to label Jesus as anything but what He was, God with us. Call Him whatever you may like, but He was not a prophet or a madman, He was the Son of God, come to earth to die for our sins so that we may know peace and joy throughout eternity with our Father, our Lord, our Friend in Heaven.

"Meaning no disrespect to the religious convictions of others, I still can't help wondering how we can explain away what to me is the greatest miracle of all and which is recorded in history. No one denies there was such a man, that he lived and that he was put to death by crucifixion. Where...is the miracle I spoke of? Well consider this and let your imagination translate the story into our own time -- possibly to your own hometown.

A young man whose father is a carpenter grows up working in his father's shop. One day he puts down his tools and walks out of his father's shop. He starts preaching on street corners and in the nearby countryside, walking from place to place, preaching all the while, even though he is not an ordained minister. He never gets farther than an area perhaps 100 miles wide at the most. He does this for three years. Then he is arrested, tried and convicted. There is no court of appeal, so he is executed at age 33 along with two common thieves. Those in charge of his execution roll dice to see who gets his clothing -- the only possessions he has. His family cannot afford a burial place for him so he is interred in a borrowed tomb.

End of story? No, this uneducated, propertyless young man who...left no written word has, for 2,000 years, had a greater effect on the world than all the rulers, kings, emperors; all the conquerors, generals and admirals; all the scholars, scientists and philosophers who have ever lived -- all of them put together. How do we explain that? ...[U]nless he really was what he said he was." --Ronald Reagan

The Gospel of Judas??? Come on!

It's not that I have nothing to write about lately, it's just that I don't have the time to write it! I'm being a very good steward with my time, but there just don't seem to be enough hours in the day lately.

Still, I couldn't pass this one up. Supposedly, a manuscript of the Gospel of Judas has been found somewhere in Egypt. This "gospel" tells a far different story of the man than that depicted in the Biblical Gospels. Amongst other things, in this work Judas is a heroic figure. But I'm not writing today to talk about that.

What gets me is that some people that were already enraptured by this story are now going to feel as if they have been somehow vindicated. That's like saying because I found an original notebook of one of the Brother's Grimm that all those fairy tales must be true.

Listen, before this gets any further, there is ONE piece of manuscript evidence for the gospel of Judas. There are over 5,000 pieces of manuscript evidence for the Bible. There is no book in history that is so widely substantiated. The Bible is the word of God. That's it, it's His book, those are all the instructions you need. Judas was a thief and he betrayed Christ to death.

I just needed to get that off of my chest. Please return to your normally scheduled Sunday.

FYI

Two minutes and Three seconds past 1:00AM on Wednesday, the time and date will be:

01:02:03 04/05/06


Just so you know.

Fever Pitch

So I woke up this morning out of a drop dead sleep at 6 AM, which most days would be 6 AM, except today it's really 5 AM. What makes it even more incredible is that I went to bed at like midnight....which was....1 AM? You know, when you need an advanced math degree in order to figure out what time it is, well, it must be early in the morning. (shave and a haircut, 2 bits) I know it seemed like a good idea at the time Ben Franklin, but it's your fault I'm confused right now.


Anyway, I have a confession to make. Part of the reason, actually probably the biggest reason that I don't give up cable television is because I like to sleep with the television on. The other part is that I think I might go crazy if I couldn't watch the Red Sox. Not crazy "I-can't-find-my-car-keys" crazy either, but crazy "I-broke-into-the-library-and colorcoded-all-the-books-on-the-shelves" crazy. I LOOOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEE the Red Sox. I feel like I should be at a 12 step program right now.

"Hi, my name is Randy and I'm a recovering Red Sox fan. I haven't watched a game in over 2 weeks."

(That could never really happen. See the part about color coding books for more information why.)

So anyway, I was sleeping with the television on for the millionth night in a row, when out of my drop dead sleep I wake up promptly at 6 AM. Okay, probably not. I don't know what time is was but it was about 20 after 6 when I sat down to write this. I realized when I woke up that Fever Pitch was on, and not only that, but that the movie was about 80% over. Being the Red Sox fanatic (fan isn't a good enough word) I am, I immediately thought to myself "If I stay awake for another 10 minutes I'll get to see the part where they show all those wonderful highlights from the 2004 playoffs."

So I'm laying there and becoming more and more conscious as Jimmy Fallon finds out the Red Sox came back in the bottom of the 9th and beat the Yankees at the first game he ever missed in 23 years because he was spending a wonderful evening with Drew Barrymore. He is of course, very stressed about that event, and Drew Barrymore, being a woman, takes offense to that because she believes that he's saying that he would have traded in the evening with her to be at that game.....well.....okay, I don't have the time right now to sit here and think about what I would have done. (I mean, he had two tickets, it's not like he wouldn't have taken her to the game with him)

Okay, just for the record, any future love interests, you need to read my blog, because I'm putting it in writing right now, you date me, you better get used to the potential for life coming to an end as you know it for 2 weeks every October. That's just the way it is.

So I'm laying there, half awake and watching with one eye open as Drew takes offense and breaks poor Jimmy's heart. After a little bit I've got both eyes open as the movie moves into the part where the Sox (pronounced Sawks) go down 3-0 to the Yankees in the ALCS. If you are not a Red Sox fan you have no idea what this part of the movie is like for us. If you're a married man, it's like remembering the moments just before you asked your wife to marry you. I'm serious, it's that sweet. My eyes almost roll back into my head and my whole body tingles just thinking about it.

So as the story goes along I'm lying there squinting at the TV, still planning on falling back asleep as soon as I get to see Drew grab Johnny Damon's butt, Ortiz get the hits and Foulke toss Alphabet the ball, when a funny thing happened. (what, you're surprised? It's a romantic comedy after all...) I started getting interested in the story all over again. It's really a well done movie. I originally saw it with some friends here in Ohio, and they liked it and had no affinity whatsoever for the Sawks. (Noooomaaaaaahhhhh. Sorry, couldn't help myself)

By the time Drew made her way to the center field bleachers, I actually had my glasses on. Even though I knew all that was going to come (before the nirvana inducing baseball highlights at the end) the story had captured me again. Okay, I'm going to admit it, when Drew jumped off the wall onto the field and then rushed the field trying to stop Jimmy before he could sell his seats I started to get a little emotional. When she ran all the way across the field and told him that if he loved her enough to give up his tickets, then she loved him enough not to let him I thought to myself that that was the most beautiful thing I ever heard. I just got another chill thinking about it. But when she looked him in the eye and told him she was getting arrested, well, a single tear rolled down my cheek.

Maybe it was because I was already confused about what time it was. Perhaps it's because I was just so relieved that he didn't give up the tickets. It could be those things, but it's not. I got emotional like that, I was stirred up because I wish I could find someone that loved me like that, EXACTLY like that. Sometimes I just wish I could take part of a movie and make it my life, and if I could, I would take that part of that movie and make it the way I met the love of my life.

Okay, I probably also get emotional because in 2004 not only did the Sawks finally win it all, but I also got divorced. Talk about your highs and lows...

I remember even feeling a little empty the night they finally put it away. Honestly, that whole year was like walking through a desert, but for a little while in October/November that year, I did at least feel something for a little while. I drove all the way from Ohio to Massachusetts that week to see the victory parade in Boston. I didn't go though, I spent the time with my friends and watched it on television instead. (Best parade I ever missed. I love you guys)

Anyway, I didn't want to bring the tone of this whole thing down by mentioning the divorce, but I had to. This morning I realized that because of all that I was going through back then, I still hadn't fully "accepted" 2004. A part of me has still been, I don't know, sad I guess. I guess as high as that was, I didn't get to experience all of it's wonderfullness because of what I was going through personally at that point in my life.

Well, on June 21st, I'm excorcising those demons. You see, I've got front row Monster seats that night, so if you happen to catch the game that night and they flash to the guy up on the Monster that's dancing like a maniac while "Tessie" plays, know that it's not because he drank too much beer.

Know that that guy is going to be up there celebrating the fact that after all those years, after watching Rice break his hand, and Dent hit the homer, after watching Yaz pop up and Esasaky go down, after having to say goodbye to Freddy Lynn and Carlton Fisk (not to mention the Rooster), after having to see Buckner miss the ball, and Buckner miss the ball, and Buckner miss the ball, and Buckner miss the ball, and Buckner miss the ball.....after watching Rogah get booted in the first inning, and after watching Mo choke, after watching the Yankees win it all 4 times and just when they had us down 3-0 and things looked as bleak as they ever did.....after having my heart broke again and again and again....well, just know that because the stone got rolled away and David Ortiz stepped out of that crypt and said "Not so fast" to the Yankees that year, because of all of that, I'll be dancing like a maniac that whole game. For me, I'll finally be letting go of that last little part of my heart that was still broken and I'll be free at last to celebrate that wonderful team.

Oh, and just for the record, I'm sick of being polite about this, THERE ARE NO FANS LIKE RED SOX FANS. I haven't been to every park to see every team, but I do have a larger sample size than most people to go by because of all of the different cities I've lived in, and I'm telling you that there are no fans that love their team the way that Red Sox fans love theirs. Over the last few years I've had to put up with people trying to degrade me and the rest of Red Sox nation because they think we think we're special and that there is no difference between their story and ours. I don't think we're special, but we are definitely unique.

I'll tell you what, when they make a romantic comedy about your team, when your park becomes an icon all of it's own and they have tours that draw more people than White House tours, awwwww forget it, Red Sox fans are unique in all of sports. I'm a Steelers fan, I chose my college based on two criteria. First, it was a Christian college. Second, it was 45 minutes north of Pittsburgh and I knew that for four years I would be able to watch every game. So in my book of priorities back then, the Steelers came right after God. Well, comparing my love for the Steelers to my love for the Red Sox is like comparing the way you feel about breakfast to how you feel about your wife. (yes, I know sometimes she makes you really mad, that's part of the analogy...)

And just so you know, it took me over an hour to write this, and the whole time I've had Tessie blasting full volume through my headphones. I'm still sitting here typing along to the beat and every now and then I still have to stop and dance in my chair a little bit.

Maybe I am crazy....

The inefficiency of our government

So, I go to Drudge last night and I am mildly annoyed to see this story about the immigration rallies behing held the last few days. You know, the rallies being held by people that have snuck into this country illegally and are now trying to tell us how to run our country. Right, those ones. (These people are represented in Washington, by the way, by the party that lost the last couple Presidential elections as well as control of both the House and Senate, and now want to tell the winning party how to run the country. Talk about synchronicity)

Anyhoo, other than being mildly annoyed, I've become a little ticked off again at the innefficiency of our government. There were at least 100,000 people gathered together all told in these various rallies, and our immigration officials apparently did nothing about it. How great would it have been had they done their jobs and rounded these people up to cart them back across the border where they belong.

Don't get me wrong, I love America, and if I didn't live here I would sure want to. What I wouldn't do though is start waving my fist in the air and start telling Americans that I had a right to live here, and that Americans had were really really mean and unfair for trying to determine the conditions under which I get to live here. Sorry, that's the kind of stuff that gets under my collar and makes me want (even more) to toughen up the security on our borders.

One final thing, just a piece of advice here. If you're marching in an immigration rights rally and you want me to "hear" your message, then it's not a good idea for you to print your sign in spanish. First rule of America, the language is English. Learn it.

BREAKING NEWS

March is the 21st annual National Frozen Food Month.

Just thought you should know.

Herbal link? The "Why is this news" story of the day.

A recent study has found that teens that use herbal remedies are more prone to using illicit drugs. In my house right now crickets are chirping and nobody has noticed I said anything at all. There is no surprise here.

Actually, that's not entirely true, I'm surprised that the people that conducted this study got the relationship backwards. What it really should say is that teens that use illicit drugs (specifically marijuana) are more likely to use herbal remedies.

You know why? Because herbal has the word herb in it. That's it, that is all there is to it. The thought processes go something like this:

1. I like the way this herb makes me feel.
2. I would like some nachos and a bowl of ice cream.
3. My stomach hurts.
4. I wonder how that herb will make me feel.

It's really that simple. And unfortunately, speaking as a former teen that smoked pot, I can confirm that the best part of using an herbal remedy is that you get to say the word herb. You get to be in the herb club.

I once knew a guy we called Herb, and whenever he entered a room we would call out his name like he was Norm from Cheers. I know they have all kinds of names for the stuff now, but back in the day we just said "Hey, got any herb?" because we liked calling it herb.

Wouldn't it be nice if someone would spend some money on something like, I don't know, actually doing something to prevent teens from smoking herb?

Manliness

This is an e-mail I sent off this morning regarding this article in the Washington Post.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/03/20/AR2006032001416_pf.html

I just couldn't take it any more this morning.



"Manliness" didn't begin with the Bush White House, nor can it's root cause be traced back to any time in recorded history. It is and has always been, and a good thing for us it has. As you freely admit, it is men that rise to the top in political parties, and there is no way you could argue that it is not that way across all walks of life. Without this "manliness" you're so readily willing to tout as a negative aspect, our world would be markedly different, and not at all for the better.

Are there negative aspects to masculinity? Certainly, but by bringing up the Iraq war to try and emphasize that you've dropped the ball completely. Nobody is really arguing that in circumstances where a maniacal dictator is torturing his own citizens and thumbing his nose at the world, the right to take preemptive action exists. Even if you wanted to argue that point, and frankly, you would be a fool and an ass to do so, you need to broaden the scope of your attack and start with the politicians not in the President's party who gave him approval in the first place.

Secondly, I don't have a problem with an administration that doesn't want to take time away from managing the country to give you answers that are going to make you feel better. I trust that if there were sufficient evidence to censure or impeach this President, then his drooling and frothing at the mouth political opponents would have acted instantaneously, but thus far there is but one lonely voice officially raised. Yet you and others like you follow down that path of misinformation like sheep, sure that even though the Democrats have done nothing but throw vile accusations and grandstand, that somewhere in there lies some truth which backs up your own reactionary and paranoid point of view.

Finally, I want a leader as a President. If he wants to take some personal friends aside and confess to some introspection or self doubt, then that's fine. The day he gets up in front of the nation and waxes philosophic and shows some weakness, you and the other sharks are going to go into a feeding frenzy. You have NOTHING positive to say to or about the man, and if you had any credibility whatsoever you would admit that the moment he showed any weakness you would pounce. I wish you could see yourself and your complaints about the "swaggering dismissal of dissenting views as the carping of those not on the team" for the ridiculously humorous statements they are. You ARE NOT on the team, so why then do you think you are entitled to intimacy of such a level?

You may not like manliness, but from the first man that picked up a club to beat back a predator, to people like Edison and Einstein, all the way to more modern hero's such as Mandela and Billy Graham, it has primarily been men furthering the betterment of humanity. That's because, no matter how much you may not like it, it is the way God intended for it to be, it is the way it has always been, and it is the way it will always be. I freely admit that every one of these men and men like them typically had a woman of strength and character partnered with him (much Like Laura Bush, but nothing like Hillary Clinton).

For the record, I have significant problems with the President's fiscal irresponsibilities and his handling of our illegal immigration problems. I do not, however, have a problem with him trying to comport himself like a man.